Thursday, 23 August 2012
The cost of a Greeting
Having made the mistake of being real ,I lived on a diet of vulnerability and shame for 6 months, because I fell for a scam from one of those dating sites,I later carried on determined not to lose all faith in human nature.
However,since then for some reason hard to explain I fell again ,This time I didn't lose cash , in fact the first time by way of logical explanation to myself I figure I gave my cash away, the second I lost the ingredient that helps you keep your life in balance.That was trust.
Justifying it anyway you wish , still makes you stupid and much as I am trying to change my perspective of myself the process is slow. It was the second time that cost so much I lost something much more precious to me than money, I like anyone else have a certain respect to what makes the world go round ,but I lost my trust in everything and everyone in all the circles of my life and this has hurt others apart from myself as I have misjudged as a consequence.
I am planning to find it and I plan to find it right where I lost it.Stability has always been my strong point throughout my life and now I cannot make a decision.At this moment I know my chances are slim ,but in order for me to regain a healthy attitude and fit all the pieces back together I will continue to try.
In some shape or form not only in the recesses of my mind , I am aware of the hidden forces but its not like backing the wrong horse and its not about fear or being a product of shattered dreams its about the ability to greet the world as I am.My shame has gone but my vulnerability remains and I don't just plan to be a patch on who I was , I have every intention of living a healthy lifestyle and living the remainder of my life with real friends naturally when I figure out who the hell they are .
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